[_____V_____]

That night, Lindsay goes to the pub to meet Jack. He waits, but Jack never shows. He’s convinced that Jack is standing up because he’s upset with Lindsay. Lindsay walks home, passing girls yelling in the street at a group of policemen. There’s a police car with lights flashing and a crowd gathered that the police is trying to disperse. He thinks he sees the man with the grey mask pulling a trash bag into the abandoned house. Lindsay is panicking. When he gets home, he listens to his answering machine – There is a message from Harriet. Jack was mugged while on the way to meet Lindsay and is in the hospital. We have flashes of Lindsay’s mind where he plays over The Cliff Scene – Himself grabbing the Scarred Mask Man over the cliff.

Lindsay visits Jack and Harriet in the hospital – Jack’s face is bandaged and he is mumbling, under the influence of pain medication. Jack keeps repeating, “It’s not what he said he’d do to me… It’s what he said he’d do to Douglas and Elaine…” Harriet is, of course, worried and horrified, and Lindsay is panicked, thinking that this could have been avoided if he had just told them about The Scarred Man.

When Jack is finally home and the bandages are off, Jack has a fresh scar from his cheekbone to his jawbone. Lindsay is horrified and is convinced that the Scarred Man is going to kill Jack.

Lindsay continues his Wednesday night Family visits, and he sees a gradual change in Jack. The scar suddenly looks older, much older, and no longer fresh. Jack starts to act aggressively toward Harriet and refuses to see Lindsay on Thursday nights. Lindsay is scared for Harriet and, within his stream of consciousness rants, constantly asks himself, “Who’s going to take care of the children?”

One Monday night, Harriet surprises Lindsay by stopping by his place. He is self conscious and hesitant to let her in. She tells him that she’s starting to become afraid of Jack’s mood swings and she doesn’t think that Lindsay should visit any longer on Wednesday nights. This throws Lindsay into a fit, the thought of him not seeing Harriet ever again. He wrestles with telling Harriet about the Scarred Man, but doesn’t think that she’ll believe him.

Lindsay is tortured with the thought of not being able to see Harriet and the children every Wednesday. He keeps repeating to himself, “Who’s going to take care of the children?” He dreams of The Cliff – Grabbing the Masked Scarred Man and pulling him off of the cliff. That Wednesday, he puts a flashlight into his pocket and makes the trip to The Rossiters’ house. As he walks up the street, he sees a police car parked out front and he hears screams coming from the house, the sound of the children screaming. As Lindsay approaches the house, a policeman is walking out, adjusting his hat casually as screams still fill the ari. Lindsay asks the policeman what’s going on and the policeman says, “I stopped by The Rossiter’s to follow up with Mr. Rossiter about the break in at his story… The children started to claim that he was not their real father… So he disciplined them… Thank God there are still parents out there that know how to discipline their children…” The policeman tips his hat and gets into his car as Lindsay goes to the house in horror.

Jack meets Lindsay at the door and is furious that Lindsay has come by the house without their permission. He threatens Lindsay, telling him to leave – Lindsay resists and says that he absolutely has to see the children. Jack refuses, pushes Lindsay out of the house. Lindsay snaps and screams, tearing at Jack’s face. The scar starts to bleed. Lindsay turns to run and Jack takes chase.

Lindsay runs past the bus stop, through the streets and alleys of Lower Brichester. As he passes, he sees various horrors, such as a police officer raping a school girl. His vision blurs with the vision of The Cliff – Running toward the Masked Scarred Man. Eventually he gets to the steps of the abandoned house. Jack pulls Lindsay by the shirt and pushes him into the side of the house. Lindsay pleads, “I have one thing I have to show you before you do anything. Come in with me.” Jack lets him go and they enter the decrepit house – Lindsay pulls out his flashlight to light the way - The walls are full of what looks like bullet holes with mould. The smell is almost unbearable. Lindsay walks through the shattered living room to the kitchen, where there is a door to the basement. He opens the door and walks down the steps, slowly, his mind flashing with the vision of The Cliff, his breath fast and uneven. When he reaches the bottom, he sees a shape that he can barely make out, even with his torch, until he pulls the light switch… A naked Jack is lying on the floor, completely covered in red blood. The floor and the wall are also red. The Scarred Jack smiles evilly and says, “Did you find what you were looking for?” Lindsay takes the flashlight and hits The Scarred Jack in the face and flees up the stairs. He runs through the house, hearing the sound of an ambulance in the distance. His vision is cut by the vision of The Cliff. Finally, opening the door to leave the house, he is confronted by the Man with the Grey Mask. As a hand clamps over Lindsay’s mouth, we hear the Man in the Grey Mask say (in Lindsay’s voice) “Be still, now. Someone’s got to take care of the children.” Lindsay is hit in the head and everything goes black.

[END]

Recommended Cast/Crew

Director: Philip Ridley (The Passion of Darkly Noon, The Reflecting Skin) – I feel as though Ridley is capable of creating an intense psychological thriller and creating an atmosphere that is unsettling and also unreal.

Lindsay: Jim Sturgess (Heartless, Across the Universe) – With Heartless, Sturgess definitely proved that he is able to portray a broken everyman – I think that he will be able to reprise that role here in The Fall.

Jack/The Scarred Man: Sean Pertwee (Dog Soldiers, Mutant Chronicles) – For Jack, I wanted to find someone handsome, yet menacing, and also about 10-years older than Lindsay. Pertwee definitely fit the bill – I think that he can make the transition from Jack to The Scarred Man with art.

Harriet: Catherine McCormack (28 Weeks Later, Shadow of the Vampire) – For Harriet, I wanted a beauty who is in her 40s, strong and yet fragile.

Judge #1's verdict -

I give Chrono a B. She really did her homework, and I was completely engrossed in the story....I didn't want it to end!

Judge #2's verdict -

Campbell is a master and this is one of his best and most notorious stories. Your casting choices are good. Your use of the text is good. Your explanation of how, what, where and why are quite thorough. You make a point by point explanation regarding how to execute intimate literary horror on film. I'm not totally floored, but this is thorough work with a lot of thought behind it. You should be proud.

B

Judge #3's verdict -

You're attempting a very complex story here, and some equally complex ideas and themes, and I applaud you for that. Parts of the story get muddy for me, but I guess that would eventually get resolved. It reminds me a lot of Cronenberg's Spider. I would look to Spider as an example of a complex psychological character study with a convoluted plot, that manages everything brilliantly. Though Spider deals a lot with internal dialogue and memories, there's no narrator. Cronenberg manages to tell everything neccessary with images and dialogue. You mentioned you wanted to rely heavily on the main character narrating his thoughts. This can backfire in a film. I would urge you to find ways of conveying your ideas through the action and dialogue. There are a couple of things that kept nagging at me when I read the treatment. Lindsay seems to get left in his inlaw's house unattended a couple of times. Even if he's a relative, this seems a little odd. Particularly the second time- his sister and her husband go upstairs for an extended scene and leave Lindsay alone downstairs. And where are the kids during all this? For all the concern Lindsay has for the children, we hear precious little about them. As characters, they're woefully undeveloped. Still, you aimed high, so I grade you high.

B.

Overall Grade - B


(Note to Chrono - Boy, you used a lot of formatting in your entry! Hope I covered all of them adequately and didn't miss anything. :))