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Originally Posted by neverending
Interesting premise, and it plays out well. Good twist on a werewolf tale. I like it. The description of the transformation is well done.
One thing that didn't ring true for me was the description of how he removed the fur from a werewolf. If you cut the fur from the skin of an animal and leave the skin, all you're doing is giving it a haircut. You won't have a pelt you can wear. You can counter that with "well, it's a magical beast, it works differently for magical beasts." But you didn't say that, and as a reader, that didn't work for me.
And as you stated at the beginning- it really does need a couple more goings over. Your punctuation is pretty bad. There are a lot of missing commas and you tend to put a comma at the end of a sentence and add on a clause that would actually work better as a separate sentence. There are a few other punctuation and spelling errors as well.
Good effort overall, it deserves to be finished off.
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Thank you.
With the pelt thing, i really have no idea how people make fur coats and stuff so i was pretty much bullshitting there. My punctuation and grammar are definitely my biggest problem when i write. I've always had a problem with it.
I'm glad you liked the transformation scene, i was proud of that.
I actually came up with a novel idea from this which usually happens whenever i write a short story so maybe one day i'll be able to finish this.
Thanks for taking the time to read and your comments and advice.