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Old 03-07-2011, 06:52 PM
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ceedee1500 ceedee1500 is offline
Musician/Writer/Lover/Wit
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Norf Cak-a-lakky USA
Posts: 18
Thumbs up cool story

Read this one.
as a writer I'd like to commend anyone who tries his (or her) hand at the art of story telling.
One may BEGIN or START something without using the words START or BEGIN or variations of same. You can LURCH DRUNKENLY through a doorway, HURRIEDLY SLAM ammo into a gun. FRANTICALLY REACH FOR something or WEARILy GAZE out into the cold, dark, night. . The use of adjectives before the verb is something any writer will wish to employ.

One little typo can murder a goode story. You meant to say" UNLEASHED" but stated "UNLEASED".

Was this story written from an OUTLINE or just free written?
with an OUTLINE you can give all the characters or at least the main characters, (protagonist, antagonist) a BACKSTORY. Need a goode backstory.

STORYLINE QUESTION: If the powers that be have enough money and time to create war zombies then wouldn't they have really cool cameras to film the results? maybe the kind of cameras that hover, swoop and flit around?

the main thing about writing is REWRITING.
this is a goode effort yet could be better.
thanks for sharing.
TD

Last edited by ceedee1500; 03-07-2011 at 06:58 PM.
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