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Is this from a movie? I have no idea what you mean. It seems to be separate thoughts thrown together instead of one coherent poem. Your spelling and grammar is much improved compared to your other posts. I'd suggest trying to write poems with rhyming two lines in a row or rhyming line 1 to 3 and 2 to 4, etc. It was pretty decent outside of that.
However, I do have a question, why is it posted in the new member forum? Shouldn't it be in the writing forum or somewhere else?
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