Open to the dinner table where we see Julie, Jeff and Marguerite eating dinner..
Jeff:
“Where is dad?”
Marguerite:
“He had to run back to town for something, he should be back soon.”
[fade out]
We see Jeff in the ruined nursery with Julie..
Jeff:
“She wants to kill me Julie, I talked to Ruby’s sister and she thinks she killed her too….”
Julie:
“Maybe if we do what she wants she won’t do anything to us.”
Jeff:
“I’m going to try to get out and get help.”
They both look out the window in time to see Kerry’s car coming up the driveway, Both of them start banging on the window, Kerry gets out of the car and walks up to the front of the house. Jeff finally grabs a chair to smash the window..
Jeff:
“I can make it down, I’ll go get help then come back ok”
Julie:
“Hurry and don’t get caught.”
We see Jeff jump down and land in some leaves…He looks back up at Julie and smiles..
[cut to front entrance]
We see Kerry bang on the front door. Marguerite answers the door with a knife in hand. Before Kerry gets even a chance to turn and run, the knife come down in a stabbing motion over and over until Kerry falls to the ground…We see Marguerite pull Kerry and tie him to the chairlift slowly it goes up the stairs she unloads him in the ballroom…We watch as this scene is repeated again and again with Kevin, Jenny and Ruby as well..Finally when they are all in the right area we see Marguerite go to stand at the nursery door.
Marguerite:
“Julie, it’s time. Your guests await.”
Julie:
“What guests?
Marguerite:
“It’s time to dance my dear.”
We see Marguerite lead Julie up to the ballroom and Julie starts to cry as she see’s all of the faces of those she loved, Julie starts to dance, eventually the police walk in the go to get Marguerite who has started dancing as well.
* * *
From Michelle
Sorry there is a bit more but this was all I could get typed up. The rest is just the end on how they take her away…
This is what the honorable Judges had to say in their verdicts...
Judge
NEVERENDING - "
The assignment was to OUTLINE the script- not write the bloody thing! Still, I have to give you some points for going to all that effort.
On the other hand, the script turned in is not feature film length. What was submitted would last about 40 minutes- even with the addition of the missing last scene. It seems more suited to be an episode of a horror anthology series than a feature film. Points deducted.
The story itself seems rather mundane and I'm not sure Carpenter would be interested. Additionally, the story itself seems rather old-fashioned and not very "Carpenterish." Points deducted.
Soundtrack- Carpenter generally writes his own soundtracks. A few points deducted.
Casting you list all cast members, including a fairly minor character- Renny, yet you fail to cast the pivotal role of the father. Points deducted.
Finally, MAJOR points deducted for casting Justin Bieber. Seriously. He's not even old enough to play the role assigned.
FINAL SCORE: 25."
Judge
DOC FAUSTUS - "
Astounded by the sheer volume. Took me awhile to get through. Deserves a lot of commendation. Not that wild about the source material, but it turned out great.
8/10."
Judge
RETURN - "
Despite the fact that a great deal of work was obviously put into this, that may have been its undoing. Perhaps if it was simply an outline of the script (as per the challenge instructions), it may have been more interesting.
As it stands, I see a rather predictable story utterly lacking tension. There is some great imagery - I particularly liked Anne's discovery of the nursery - but everything seems to move far too quickly.
Effort is appreciated, but fact of the matter is that nothing here held my interest.
3/10. No reward, moderate punishment."
Judge
AUSTIN - "
Michelle - 6/10."
Judge
ZERO - "
Michelle - 9 - all out effort. script is a bit stilted but a heck of an effort and worth 9 points."
So
Michelle, you have scored an above-par score for your effort. You have also been SHOT ONCE Spreadshot style by the Judge Return's Hand Cannon.
Your score -
Judge Neverending - 05/10 (He gave 25 which I presume is out of 50 which translates to that)
Judge Doc Faustus - 08/10
Judge Return - 03/10 (Spreadshot shot)
Judge Austin - 06/10
Judge Zero - 09/10
----------------------------
TOTAL - 31/50
----------------------------
That equates to 62 BONUS Health Packs for you Michelle, out of which 10 are used up immediately to heal up the injury caused by Judge Return's punishment.
You gain 52 HPs, alongwith a RAILGUN WITH 50 BULLETS to use in the subsequent Zone outing.
Let's move on to Roshiq's verdicts...