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Elvis, if you need someone to talk to I've been there. Been in rehab three times. Stopped drinking for 5 months. Recently went back, thinking I could control it. Sort of have, sort of haven't controlled it. Life is so different sober - you realize how much you were missing. I realized alcohol really has no redeeming qualities when you think about it. It hurts your mind and your body. My cholesterol was through the roof and that was why - had no idea it could do that. I almost lost my job. I fell on more than one occasion. I back into someone's car leaving the bar and left a huge dent in my rear bumper Didn't remember I did that until two days later when someone pointed out the dent. Bad times... I am lucky to be alive and to not be incarcerated.
The only way I was able to quit was to go on a drug called Antabuse. It will make you violently sick if you drink alcohol while you are on it. I would be offered it every time I was in rehab. This last time I accepted it because I finally learned my willpower is not enough. So that's something to consider if you're indeed serious about quitting. If things get bad with me again I'm going right back on it. At the moment of course I am lying to my addiction counselor.... see, bad news. It's a sickness for sure.
Be kind to yourself. It's a rough road ahead.
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