[VampiricClown]

Originally Posted by cheebacheeba

I'd pull their finger/toenails off and sandpaper under there.
I'd periodically hammer nails into their non-vital areas and put a stungun to the nails. I'd cut them with scalpels between all the fingers and toes, and remove the nipples that way. I would then apply bi-carb to the wounds, followed by a mixture of caustic soda in vinegar.
I'd probably douse them in something like hair spray/mousse, something that would burn off quickly but not too quickly and set it on fire.
I'd then put a gas mask onto them with stink bugs in it one time, ammonia the next, allowing fresh air for 1/3 of the time.
Perhaps, I'd insert a large acupuncture needle into their eye, and leave it there.
Every time they made a sound, I'd kick them in the balls.
I'd break and re-break their nose again and again. punching would do.
I'd record their cries, and play it back to them all the while, and feed them only on their own excrement.

Sounds more like you're fixing something to eat.