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The story doesn't move well, good story tellers learn how to show, not tell. Pay attention to your story, where does it actually start? You may find the first 7 paragraphs of your story are only important to you (which is still important for you-the writer-so you can stay true to your characters), but the actual story, the bread and butter and the chewy center doesn't start until the awkward confrontation with the killer.
I learned more about writing from Anne Lomott's Bird By Bird. If you seriously want to write, read first.
I have a long ways to go myself.
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"The physical body is acknowledged as dust, the personal drama as delusion. It is as if the world we perceive through our senses, that whole gorgeous and terrible pageant, were the breath-thin surface of a bubble, and everything else, inside and outside, is pure radiance. Both suffering and joy come then like a brief reflection, and death like a pin" Stephen Mitchell
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