[bwind22]

I have a Logline for a script I'm writing (Crimes Like These) that is due in 3 hours and would LOVE some input as to which of the loglines below is the most effective.


1) Violence erupts when the path of a guilt-ridden parolee intersects with the dangerous residents at his new halfway house. With his life on the line, he finds a chance at redemption when he meets a prostitute’s daughter.

2) With his life in jeopardy due to the dangerous residents of his new halfway house, a guilt-ridden parolee finds an unlikely chance at redemption in a prostitute’s daughter.


Please just let me know which option gives you a more complete mental image as to what the film may be about, regardless of whether or not it's a film you'd be interested in seeing.

Also, if any punctuation, grammar or spelling errors are present, please let me know. Thanks!

Like I said, I only have 3 hours until my deadline.