[TheGemini]

Location: Classified.




[Static]





[Silence, broken by a soft scraping sound at 12 second intervals]







[bzzzzt...][indistinct static]"Rest in [bzzt!] pieces..."[crackling static]
[fZzz]"I want this island [bzzzzzt!] nuked the moment..."[loud crackling sounds]








[Silence]








[BZZZZZZZZT!][loud static]"Today, a talking monkey hired our boat. Ok, there...[brrrrrt!]Three days of hard sailing – engines at full – no idea where we’re going...[blip! blip!]radiation readings getting higher...[fzzzz]Hot as hell on the deck...[whirrrrttt!]monkey had climbed back onto the deck and was working on the series of wenches...[bzzzzzzzzztt!]a big black tarp...[fzzzzt!]bleach mixed with rosemary and ionized air and blood and puke and iron...[crackle!]holes where eyes should be and a mouth like a... [brrrt!]skull with teeth and a long sloping...[fzzz!]humanoid. Muscles beyond compare...[BRRRRRRRRTTT!]IT...[bzzzz!]bringer of glory...[brrrrr!]IT is not finished..."[Loud indistinct cackle]








[Silence]









[brrrrrrttt][some static]"He first appeared over a year [bzzt!] made contact through a bartender...[bzzz!]real monkey. Red hair, long tail, and [bzzzzt!] glowing eyes..."[fzzzz]

[brrrrrt!]"At first I thought it was the smell [bzzzzt!] burning metal and bleach and something horrible organic..."[indistinct static for a long time]






[Silence for about a minute]






[Loud sizzling noise]"figure of silent death has descended...[brrrrt!]a last meal before his restoration..."[BZZZZ!]

[loud shuffling noise and roar]

[bzzzt!]"god. Oh god. Oh god. Jesus what the f..."[fzzzt!]

[loud roar and wet crunching sound]










[Long, silent pause]










[Indefinite silence]







[A man's voice] Analysis complete.