A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job.
The interviewer asks him, 'Are you allergic to anything?'
He replies, 'Yes - caffeine.'
Have you ever been in the military service?'
Yes,' he says. 'I was in Iraq for two years.'
The interviewer says, 'That will give you 5 extra points toward employment.'
Then he asks, 'Are you disabled in any way?'
The guy says, 'Yes...an IED exploded near me and I lost both of my testicles.'
The interviewer grimaces and then says, 'O.K. You've got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 - and plan on starting at 10:00 A..M. every day.'
The guy is puzzled and says, 'If the work hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00P.M., why don't you want me to here until 10:00 A.M.?'
This is a government job,' the interviewer says. 'For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that.'
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"There is no fuckin' ice cream in your fuckin' future." -Otis
"Once in a while ya get shown the light, in the strangest of places if ya look at it right." -RH&JG
"Do your best, fuck the rest." -Me
"Onward, through the fog..." -Me
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