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Happy Birthday. If the clown at the party offers to take you somewhere awesome in his van, don't do it. Because he'll probably just take you to I-Hop. Which sucks. But clowns love I-Hop. They think it's the best restaurant ever and like to pick people up in white vans to lure them there where they have to pay six bucks for crepes that really aren't that good.
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Horror and Bizarro novelist and editor
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