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Old 01-16-2009, 06:38 AM
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alkytrio666 alkytrio666 is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Los Angeles, USA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by neverending View Post
This is a crazy story! Quite unique. Might be a bit slow- but under the right director it might be effective. Perhaps some things could be fleshed out- Braylon's past- what is he writing- how do those things relate to the storyline? There's no reasoning behind why he ends up accepting his fate at the bottom of the sea. I need some motivation... unless the lack of motivation was a choice you made.
Yes, his writing was one thing I thought I could incorporate more surely into the story, but I don't want to do too much with it. I'd like him to be someone who originally has a lot of confidence without a lot of material goods or success.

As far as motivation, I really wanted that aspect of the story to be vague. I think the line between whether he fell under a kind of voodoo trance (I was thinking I Walked With a Zombie at sea) or whether he jumped because something in his mind broke to be fuzzy.
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