[urgeok2]

i dont normally like participating in threads like these because they are depressing - plus i think that the advice people give is the advice people found effective for themselves... there is not much hope that anything anyone says will apply to the person asking for it - nor will they take it even if they do because these threads are more about venting and seeking support.

come to think of it - the 1st post wasnt even asking advice - (but due to the nature of it - advice is given)


that being said ... i'll offer some - this one time - and i wont expect results ... but... just in case...


I'm 47... and recently became aware for the 1st time that we are not immortal.
The clock is ticking - we're racing toward the grave. NOW is the time to be happy - make every second count. I know that some folks - thanks to an unfortunate chemical balance - are incapable of being happy - at least not by choice.. and not on a regular basis.

i have no advice if this is the case ..


however - if the unhappiness derrives from a series of circumstances and events that are proving to be too challenging .... here's what i do: its something i learned from work.

there are times that i get hammered by the sheer amount of work that gets thrown at me ... its a very task oriented job with shifting priorities.
I almost lost my mind about a year and a half ago when my already job and a half workload was effectively doubled .. i nearly lost my mind.

The only thing that saved me was writing things down. When you are being hit in 10 different directions and things are all swirling around in your head - you cant get a fix on anyone thing. you have no goal, no focus, nothing gets resolved or accomplished because you are too overwhealmed.

i started writing task lists - sounds simple - but it worked. I did one thing at a time .. no matter how small - i was able to get a foothold and see progress.

i found that this simple technique worked just as effectively for personal life situations.


what is going wrong .. make a list.
how to tackle each one - sugestions for solutions for each item.



also - what is going right ? .... why am i going through this ?
(most of us will answer : the kid/s)

its nice to see a running list on the other side of the page for balance.

sure - some things are going wrong ... but theres things going right.



i did this for a friend of mine recently.

she has terrible luck with guys .. single mom...

the minus side was obvious ... but she wasnt paying any attention to the positive side.


she's attractive
she has a good job
she lives comfortable in a home in a decent neighbourhood.

i know that when thing suck - it's tough to look around at the people beside you who's lives are a worse hell than yours - and feel lucky about yourself - but it's a nice tool to use to get some perspective. There are people surviving with worse odds against them. how do they do it ? are they just stronger ? are you willing to allow yourself to believe you cant be that strong ?

if so - thats something else i have no advice for ..


but i do believe in itemizing the things that are keeping you from happiness ... and brainstorm each one for a solution. what you come up with might not work ... so you go back and start again. at least something positive is coming out of it, you will know that at least you are attempting to try something ,and things will be resolved sooner or later. progress will be made.

ever problem has a solution. sometimes things are more simple than they seem. but untill you can see the whole picture clearly ... you'll just be spinning in a whirlpool of misery.... and life is too short to spend 5 more minutes like that.

and by the way - alcohol is the worst fucking answer to any problem...