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In America, we call my type a 'functioning alcoholic.' Basically, I pay my bills, never miss work, am good to my friends and family, but drink too much for the American standard.
Yes, I drink every day. I really don't pay much attention to what people say about it anymore.
As I've gotten older, I've grown out of most of my problems. I'm still a little OCD, but not as bad as I used to be. I was one of those people who had to check everything three or for times before I left the house for work. My morning used to go like this.
Did I put on deodorant?
Do I have my wallet?
Shit, what am I forgetting?
Do I have my work badge?
Did I eat breakfast?
Are the cats fed?
*checks clock* 12 minutes til bus comes...
Wait, do I have my wallet? Better open it and see if my debit card is there...
Keys! Fuck do I have the house keys? Oh wait, they're attached to my wallet chain
Shit, where's my work badge? Back pocket, cool. Better put it around my neck so I won't forget I have it.
Shit, did I put on deodorant?
Wait, I should probably check the bus schedule again to make ABSOLUTE sure I know exactly what time it's coming?
Do I have a few dollars for the vending machine? Fuck, that reminds me, I have my wallet, right?
Shit, there's the cat. Did I feed her?
*checks phone* 5 minutes til bus comes...maybe I should check the schedule again.
*Leaves House*
I should probably check to see if I locked the door...
Fuck, I really need to get to the bus stop
*runs to stop*
Did I leave the coffee pot on?
Shit, I hope I didn't throw my cigarette on some dry leaves.
Did I remember to check a second time to make SURE I locked the door?
I've really calmed down a lot. Most of the shit developed from trying to be perfect in every way. I developed the obsession myself, and time took care of it. Since I've realized I'm allowed to fuck up just like everyone else, I have a lot more peace of mind.
I'm still probably a little too hard on myself when I do fuck up, but the crazy ass panic OCD syndrome has gone away almost completely.
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