Quote:
Originally Posted by Doc Faustus
If you consider the rate of abuse, divorce and teen pregnancy, misogyny is pretty rampant. He is talking about the average man here, and the average man hasn't made much headway into male/female relations. How many guys spend more nonsexual time with their girlfriends and wives then they do working or hanging out with their friends? Not that many. How many men care about sharing interests and viewpoints with a woman before opting to date them? How many guys do you know who date women who they would not be friends with? I think the answer is, in fact, most. Liberalism and conservatism aside, the fact is, that the majority of men do not LIKE women as people. Beyond that, there is a group within that demographic that actively dislikes women as people, and within that demographic, one that hates.
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This makes all of the sense in the world to me.
I read this thread yesterday, but haven't had a chance to respond so here goes.....
I do think in some ways saying that most men hate women is pretty strong, but there is.....truth in it. And let me explain to some of the women or men that might disagree where I am coming from here. Early on, I had VERY rocky relationships, mostly that was on me, because honestly I distrusted and in general, feared men (outside of my family). I had good reasons, and I swear it seemed sometimes I was almost seeking out men to prove me RIGHT. I dated some real jackasses, but moving on......I spent a lot of time alone. Before I met my husband, I didn't even date for years. I didn't want to attract men, I've never been a very pretty girl, but I like that. I like to not bring attention to myself purely based on my looks. Now that everyone kind of understands how fucked up I was about such things....;) I will say that during that very loooong period of time that I wasn't dating, I actually started to enjoy the company of men. As friends. Some of my best friends have been men. And I have found in my admittedly limited, but convincing experience, that generally men have made much better friends than lovers or partners (except for my husband). The men that were so damn good to me as a friend, the ones that loved to spend time with me, honestly enjoyed my company, asked my advice....etc. would "fall in love" with a woman and start to treat that woman so appallingly bad that I was shocked, and it didn't help my previous hesitation to be in a romantic relationship. They would think of reasons to avoid going home, lie, sometimes cheat, complain about what a bitch she was...sometimes worse....needless to say, most of my friendships died a slow death after they found someone.....:rolleyes:
The reason I think this is, is that a lot of people "settle". I think a lot men and women just haven't figured out how to be friends, as well as lovers. I don't think many believe it even possible. These men would get with women that they found sexually exciting, or made their life easier, or a combination of both and then seemed to want to build a whole life based on that. They love the sex, they love the way they look.....after that, they have NOTHING in common. I think women can be like this too, they are drawn to the guy that turns them on, and don't really seem to get past that. I think that is why so many marriages fail. They forget to actually get to know the other person, and once they do, they realize they don't really like them very much. People seem so focused on the passion of conflict, that they don't seem to realize that you can have passion AND friendship in their relationship. And some men, and hell, some woman, just don't seem to want that anyway.
My husband has noticed the same thing at work, the guys there are always complaining about their wives. There are clubs specially designed so men don't have to go home to their wives or girlfriends. They are completely baffled about why my husband actually ENJOYS being home. We enjoy each other's company. We're friends. We excite each other, but we also agree on a whole lot. We don't fight about petty shit. And hey, he hardly ever "goes out with the boys". He doesn't seem to care for "the boys" very much. :p
But do I think this guys hate their wives/girlfriends? No. Do I think they dislike them? Yes, on some level they obviously do. If not, why do they avoid going home? How can they casually throw the word bitch around? Why do they cheat, and expect the woman to just "get over it", but act madly jealous and suspicious of them? I have seen this happen a whole lot and it has happened to me too much in the past, not to see the truth in Urge's post. I think the women and men that can't see it, maybe they just have had extraordinarily good luck with the opposite sex. But to make it clear, if I haven't already, I think both men AND women are guilty of this prejudice against the opposite sex.