For the doctor situation - I'm sorry. I truly am. It's a shitty situation when you feel as though you can't trust the person who you're putting not only your health but your
family's health in. I've had a similar experience, but being angry at my doctor is simply not helpful. Though I can't say that I know how to deal with it. The fact is that I
don't. I know that it's not necessarily helpful, but sometimes it's easier to be supportive to your family before worrying about the healthcare industry.
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Originally Posted by monalisa
Thanks for the support, I really do appreciate it.
I know there’s still good doctors out there, but yes, they are very hard to find. I grew up in the 70’s and doctors back then were much more personal and thorough. So that’s probably part of it, I wish health care was like it used to be.
I think another part of what I’m having trouble with is the whole aging parent thing. My dad used to be so strong and intelligent, actually he was kind of a prick while I was growing up. But now he’s this frail old man that needs help. Also he got very used to my mom being there and taking care of him and everything, and now that she’s gone, he wants my brother and I to take over. But a lot of things he could do for himself, but doesn’t want to. Like cleaning his bathroom and vacuuming and stuff like that. He just doesn’t want to do it. I don’t even want to bring my dog to visit cuz I’ve seen pills that he’s dropped on the floor and if my little dog ate one, it could make him very sick or kill him. And my brother and I have our lives too and shouldn’t have to do menial chores like that for him. So that’s been bugging me for a long time. But now, this whole kidney thing has happened and I feel guilty for every nasty thought or word I’ve ever had about him. And I’m so scared he’s gonna die, which I know is gonna happen some day, but it’s still very scary.
But, when I see him, I put on a happy face and am nothing but supportive to him. Right now, encouragement is what he needs to get through this.
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I agree - That's the absolute hardest part. I go through a similar situation with my mom every time that I see her.
But you have to think that you ARE supportive and you ARE there for him, but there's only so much that you can do. There's a point where he honestly has to start taking care of himself, and maybe it's time that you talk to him about that. Honestly - illness is difficult to deal with. He's probably identifying himself with his illness (especially after losing your mom). He's not only physically sick, but suffering from depression too. Not going to lie, it's not
easy - but maybe talk to him about it.
And keep strong - This isn't easy. It's not. Take care.