Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkfloyd45769
Thanks so much Nova for thinking of me,its sweet:)I know that there are plenty of people in the world that have it far worse than i do,really i know that.I still believe that my life,for me in my way of looking at it,plain fucking sucks.I'm sorry if i sound like i'm selfish or anything like that at all,i'm really not.I am getting out of bed,taking care of my children,and doing all normal everyday things that everyone else does.I put on a smile and i act like nothing is wrong,like i have it all under control.The truth is..i really don't!I want to reach for a pill more and more everyday,i thought it was supposed to get easier.I am starting to feel like i'm just not the person that i thought i was,like i'm living two lives.I keep most of my thought to myself,its easier that way.If you put your shit out on the table,you have to listen to all the advice you don't want.I never talk about me anymore,i avoid it.I just want my life back,the life that i thought i had.I don't want to hear my kids ask me where their daddy is or why i'm crying.I think hiding things from kids is the hardest thing to do,they know more than you think they do.Sorry i rambled on,i'll stop here:)
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You are not being selfish in the least.
It's always nice to know when things are tough, there is someone or something to back you. Someone to say, 'you don't need that pill honey' :)
It makes things a little less hopeless. I have been so far down that abyss, when the things that are good in life just does not counteract or alleviate the pain.
I have always believed that when things are rough in life, we all have the strength to pull through, but sometimes if there isn't anyone TELLING you that, some people get a little lost in the muck and mire- you know?
I know it makes me feel so much better when a friend points out what I have survived so far, so this or that cannot possibly be too much for me to bear. That there will be an end to it at some point.
That was the point of the thread, sometimes it just feels good to get it out. Somewhere, somehow. Not to become a boo-hoo thread, just a place to vent out some things, to hear some encouragement when your heart hurts.
I thought that since it was a supportive team around here, it wouldn't be a huge step to assume people would be kind. Guess I was way off the mark.
Anyway sweetie, if you need me, you have my email:)