Thanks so much Nova for thinking of me,its sweet:)I know that there are plenty of people in the world that have it far worse than i do,really i know that.I still believe that my life,for me in my way of looking at it,plain fucking sucks.I'm sorry if i sound like i'm selfish or anything like that at all,i'm really not.I am getting out of bed,taking care of my children,and doing all normal everyday things that everyone else does.I put on a smile and i act like nothing is wrong,like i have it all under control.The truth is..i really don't!I want to reach for a pill more and more everyday,i thought it was supposed to get easier.I am starting to feel like i'm just not the person that i thought i was,like i'm living two lives.I keep most of my thought to myself,its easier that way.If you put your shit out on the table,you have to listen to all the advice you don't want.I never talk about me anymore,i avoid it.I just want my life back,the life that i thought i had.I don't want to hear my kids ask me where their daddy is or why i'm crying.I think hiding things from kids is the hardest thing to do,they know more than you think they do.Sorry i rambled on,i'll stop here:)
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