[ferretchucker]

If you like Human Pinatas - If you like Pina Coladas

I was tired of my lady,
she had been nagging too long,
like a her worn out old mother,
But then they both look like dogs...

So while she lay there sleeping,
I took a club to her head,
then in the psycopath columns,
there was this letter I read,

If you like human pinatas,
and guns and a-acid rain,
if you're into illegal,
drugs, booze, sex and champagne,
if you like making love at midnight,
with bondage and tape,
I'm the love that you've looked for,
write to me and escape,

Didn't forget about my lady,
Dumped her into the ravine,
Also her mother and father,
They had no time to, shout or plead or scream,
so i wrote to the paper,
took out a psycopath ad,
and though I'm nobodies poet,
I thought it wasn't half bad,

Yes I like human Pinatas,
and guns and a-acid rain,
I'm not much into asians,
they make bad tasting champagne,
I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon,
and cut through all this red tape,
at an old, dingy alley,
where we'll plan our escape,

So I waited with high hopes,
then she walked in the place,
I knew her smile in an instant,
I knew the curve of her face,
It was my zombified lady!
And she said "I'll kill you"
then she laughed for a moment,
then I said "No, I'll kill you."

I lock you in my mums larder,
and wait 'til you go insane,
then I'll put gas right in there,
and get a hobo caled wayne,
Give him a shotgun and some mouldy food,
And an old porno tape,
then he will open fire,
and you'll have no escape!