[Roderick Usher]

There is a difference between monitoring and spying. I monitor by simply staying involved in my kids' lives and sharing my enthusisams with them.

I feel the biggest problem is that parents wait too long to open a 100% honest dialog with thier kids, thinking that young children cannot handle the truth.

As a result pre-teens raised in this kind of environment are getting "the truth" (sex, drugs, religion, death, etc) from sources outside the home. This nulifies the parent's point of view RIGHT at the time when most parents (that I know, at least) try to establish this dialog. At this point, the kids think their parents are dorks and hide stuff from them. Then parent end up spying, which makes the kids feel they aren't trustworthy.

Being honest early and staying involved in your childrens' lives is the way I've chosen to avoid spying. I know my kids will tell me the truth, because I give them the same respect. I actually have other kids coming over to ask my advice on how to tell their parents about stupid shit they've done - which is an awkward position to be in.

But I'm also the only paret in my son's class that makes the other children call me Mr. Keller. All the other parents allow the children to call them by thier first names, becasue they don't want to feel old. THIS IS BULLSHIT!!!!!! Without a title, the kids view you as an equal... I am not my children's equal, I am THE authority figure in thier lives and act as an authority around all the other children in our neighborhood.