[Rayne]

We've done this thread here quite a few times, so I'm sure that the 'regulars' already know mine...But, you're new...Soooo...


Ex Husband (or any suitable asshole) Body Disposal Plan

Before you start, you will need to obtain at least 3 rather large dogs

1) I recommend strangulation or suffocation...The bigger the mess, the more difficult it is to explain certain things (forensics has come a long way)...I suggest you do this when he is sleeping...If you run into a problem (as they do tend to struggle like crazy, upon awakening) I suggest you keep something nearby to subdue them with...You will know what works best for you...Just keep in mind that even the smallest head wound tends to bleed profusely...Avoid bloodshed at all costs...There is far too much evidence obtained by blood, besides, who wants to clean that up? If you do find it necessary to use some sort of bludgeon, make certain that it is a common household item, something easily explanatory, that doesn't seem out of place...Be sure to run the item through the dishwasher on high temp...There are always tissue particles that you may not be able to see...If you do end up with blood, DO NOT wash it down the drain...Drains are checked...Like I said, avoid bloodshed at all costs

2) Take the body to a remote area with a running water source...a swift stream, or river (a river is a much better choice)...Transport the body in a vehicle that it is accustomed to...So that the body's hair will not be suspicious if found there, there are always a few strands that you cannot see...DO NOT put the body in the trunk...It is unusual to find hair in the trunk...Sit the body up in the front seat...If you have made a discernable head wound, be sure to put a hat over it...This should be done between 3am and 4 am...You have to finish before rush hour traffic in the morning...Do not speed, obey all traffic laws, make certain that the vehicles lights are all working properly and that the exhaust isn't loud, wear your seatbelt and put one on the body, too...Do not give them any reason to pull you over...If you do get pulled over, tell them that your friend is passed out drunk and you are driving him home...DO NOT give your 'friend's' name...Give the name of someone that matches his description...A false name will arouse suspicion...If you can't think of a good one, you could just give a first name and say that you don't know his last name...Remember that any story that you can come up with is more easily verifiable than you realize...For example...If you say, "I don't know his name, I just met him at a bar" You may be asked "what bar?" and "at what time?"...These things can be checked out by receipts and witnesses...Keep this in mind and just keep it simple

3) Place body at the edge of the stream and allow the head to rest in the water...Slit the jugular vein with a common kitchen knife (which will later be run through the dishwasher), Allow all blood to drain from the body...Be certain that it doesn't get in the soil or on the grass, ONLY in the water...If the water isn't deep enough, the blood will stick to rocks (blood is extremely sticky)...If this isn't done quickly, it will be difficult to accomplish the "draining" at all...As the body cools, the blood doesn't flow as well

4) Take the body back home in the same way that you previously transported it...During the planning, you should have obtained an industrial meat grinder (like the one's they have in butcher shops)..."obtained" NOT "purchased"...A recent purchase looks very suspicious and ALL recent purchases are checked out...Try to find one at a garage sale, or some other place that you will be easily forgotten, with no receipts...The older it looks, the less suspicion it will arouse...Cut up the body as you would a chicken...If you drained the blood well, the mess won't be as bad as you think...Run the pieces through the meat grinder, bones and all...Yes, the bones will grind, it is very difficult, but not impossible

5) Be certain that you have not fed your dogs for at least 2 days...Feed them at this point...Any leftovers should be wrapped in butcher paper in 1 or 2 pound packs...Label it "hamburger" or "sausage" and freeze it...Continue feeding your dogs until your supply is depleted

6) Clean up the crime scene, be certain that there are no signs of a struggle, no "drag marks" in the yard...If you are worried about the meat grinder, run it through the dishwasher and dispose of it in a dumpster behind a butcher shop...Wash the sheets and clothing...Place them in a Salvation Army donation box

7) Smile with satisfaction as the officers scrape your ex off of their shoes ...and know that you have done the correct thing as he has been restored to what he truly seemed to be intended

Do not speak of this to ANYONE...Before, during or after...EVER...Everyone eventually wants to talk about it, and that's almost always how they end up getting caught...You can trust NO ONE...Don't even write it down or type it out.................OOPS! :p