[stygianwitch]

You know you're in England when:

If the sun comes out someone will point to that large yellow ball in the sky and say "what's that?" (to which the standard reply is....."dunno mate, i'm not from around here!")

You are on first name terms with Noah and his 3 sons, and their 3 wives (my berth is already booked :) )

In summer, the trains stop running because 'there is rain on the track - it makes the rails greasy!!!'

In autumn, the trains stop running because of 'leaves on the track'

In winter, the trains stop running because of 'snow on the track'

In spring, the trains stop running because....presumably 'they don't want to feel left out'

When driving you know you've crossed the county border into the West Midlands because the roads are in a really bad state of repair

You can't use snow chains because they will chew up the road surface (see above!!!!!) - think someone's having a laugh about that one

At the first sign of white flakes falling from the sky the whole country grinds to a halt

The bus timetable is the best work of fiction on the planet

If the sun comes out for more than 2 days there is a water shortage - the best excuse i've heard for this so far is that we had 'the wrong kind of rain!!!!!!!'