50) When Hammerfan gives you the finger, she's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
51) If it looks like chicken, smells like chicken, and tastes like chicken but Zwoti says its beef, then it's fucking beef.
52) Dairy Queen used to be Dairy King before _V_ made it his bitch.
53) Newb was born with the right to party. Unlike the rest of us, who have to fight for it.
54) Sam's orgasm leaves an exit wound.
55) Superman owns a pair of Crabapple pajamas.
56) Roderick Usher has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
57) Elvis doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.
58) World champion eater Takeru Kobayashi once ate 53.5 hot dogs in 12 minutes. Allotted the same time, Vod ate Kobayashi.
59) Despare is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
60) If you can see Bwind, he can see you. If you can't see Bwind you may be only seconds away from death.
61) IllDojo does not go hunting because the word "hunting" implies the possibility of failure. IllDojo goes killing.
62) Novakru ends every relationship with "Its not me, its you."
63) There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Dude Guadalupe is going to walk.
64) If at first you don't succeed, you're not Doc Faustus.
65) There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures VampClown allows to live.
66) When Neverending does push-ups, he isn't pushing himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
67) Flayed once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
68) Geddy sleeps with a night light. Not because Geddy is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Geddy.
69) MassacreMan invented orphans.
70) Posher and Dante were disqualified and kicked off the show "Junk Yard Wars" for violating the saftey rules and building a fully functional M1A1 Abram Main battle tank, when all they needed to build was a steam-powered catapult.
71) Kemal died once. When he got to heaven he walked up to God, tapped him on the shoulder, and said "I think you're in my seat."
72) When Mothman goes to jail, he passes go and collects 200 dollars.
73) February 29th only occurs once every four years because AmericanManiac wills it to be so.
74) In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Disease could use to kill you, including the room itself.
75) The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Ferret punched himself in the face.
76) Slasherman does not believe that there are 50 states, only 2, because where ever he goes becomes a State of Emergency and whenever he leaves, he leaves a State of Destruction.
77) DP McCoy has beat the shit out of so many people that most medical journals now classify him as a laxative.
78) Angra lost his virginity before his dad did.
79) There’s an old saying: “He who has the Return makes the rules.” It’s one of those nonsensical old sayings, since it implies that someone can “have” Return.
80) Murderdoll always asks for the same Christmas gift: A box of Smurfs and a sledgehammer.
81) Scarecrow currently resides in a small village in Turkmenistan, where "Scarecrow" translates to "Santa Claus." In unrelated news, Children in Turkmenistan are scared shitless of Santa Claus.
82) If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Xtrava banging your sister.
83) Manchester Morgue doesn't have nightmares, nightmares have Manchester Morgue.
84) Alkytrio recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned
beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
85) Giraffes were created when Kane Hodder uppercutted a horse.
86) The quickest way to a man's heart is with Dewaholic's fist.
87) As a poor college student, Freak went to the local sperm bank to make some quick cash. He retired later that day.
88) HorrorObsessed can touch MC Hammer.
89) Jenna once kicked someone so hard that her foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean
90) When Nikki falls in water, Nikki doesn't get wet. Water gets Nikki.
91) The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1.YourLastMistake 2. Heart Disease 3. Cancer
92) Hamburger doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
93) Gorephobia is responsible for China's over-population. He went to Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.
94) Mordrid can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
95) Zero gave Mona Lisa that smile.
96) If you spell HorrorWench in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
97) The Bible was originally titled "Cheeba and Friends".
98) The following is a list of things Spallala cannot do:
99) After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending ThomasGeorge. It was more "humane".
__________________
...
If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance...Baffle 'em with bullshit
My Karma ran over my Dogma
God WAS my co-pilot...But, we crashed in the mountains and...I had to eat him
I'm suffocating in what's become of me...
The rancid remains of what I used to be
Last edited by bloodrayne; 08-24-2007 at 06:53 AM.
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