[ferretchucker]

Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.

do you mean things like that but with our names?