[stubbornforgey]

An elderly couple was attending a church service. About halfway through the wife leans over and says, ” I just did a silent fart, what do you think I should do?” The husband replies, ” Put a new battery in your hearing aid.”







Men are like...


1. Men are like ...Laxatives ..... They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Men are like .Bananas ..... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like .....Weather ..... Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like Blenders ... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like Chocolate Bars ... Sweet, smooth, &they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like Department Stores ... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like .....Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like ..Mascara They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like ..Popcorn ..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like Snowstorms .... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like ......Lava Lamps ... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like ....Parking Spots ....... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.



Dinner out..

Friends of ours invited the wife and I out to dinner. Although it
turned out to be a topless restaurant, my wife was a pretty
good sport and pretended to enjoy the evening.

On the way home though, even the defrosters at full force
wouldn't keep the windshield from icing over on her side of the
car.

"Awwwww come on." I said. "It wasn't that bad."

"Your ordering didn't help matters." she said fuming.

"What ?" I replied. "I only ordered a dozen oysters."

"ONE AT A TIME ?!?!?!" she yelled.