[Roderick Usher]

In L.A.

You are awakened in the middle of the night by a moderate earthquake. Your reply: "That ain't even a 5-pointer" and go back to sleep.

You live 10 miles from work. It takes you 60 minutes to get home.

Walking out of Jamba Juice, you see that a movie is being shot on-location across the street.

You are not happy, or even slightly exited that there may be a movie star there. You just say, " They f*ckin better not be blocking my parking space."

You personally know at least 5 people with agents.

You personally know at least 3 people who have been in a movie or TV show.

You don't know ANYBODY who doesn't smoke weed.

You know what In N Out is and feel bad for all the other states because they don't have any.

Any major movie star is picking out the best portobello mushrooms next to you at the grocers and you don't notice.

The guy at 8:30 in the morning at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney IS George Clooney.

You really can never be too rich or too thin.

The gym is packed at 3pm...on a workday.

The workday starts at 10am...or whenever you get out of your therapy session.

Any invitation comes with, "Starts at 8pm or as soon as you can get through traffic."

You have never met a waiter that wasn't really an "Actor."

You never go to a coffee house without a copy of a script - any script.

It's sprinkling and there's a report on every news station about "STORM WATCH '07"

You call 911 and they put you on hold.

You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Blanks himself is teaching the 4:30 tae-bo class.

A nurse can look at you in all seriousness and ask, "you don't drink or smoke, right?"

All the "cool gyms" allow pedestrians on the street a full-view of those working out. Literally, you can�t drive by Wilshire without staring into L.A. Fitness. Perhaps a new form of window shopping?

The waitress asks if you'd like "carbs" in your meal.

Your babysitter recently played a babysitter in a movie.

Theres a sushi restaurant on every corner, even in Mexican towns.

One of your favorite pastimes is making fun of the 909.