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Ferret, I realize that you're trying to add some comic relief to the situation, however... Never never never suggest to Hammerfan that she should harm an animal. It's not good for your health. As a matter of fact, it may compromise the probability of you reaching your next birthday.
Sue 'em, Hammerfan. Many lawyers will offer you a free consultation. What you should do, though, is check with your co-workers and friends for recomendations. That way, you can get a lawyer who won't charge exorbent fees for their services, but who will make sure that you win your case. You may even want to push for Delaware Park having to pay your attorney fees and your court costs as well.
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By the time you're twenty-five they will say you've gone and blown it. By the time you're thirty-five I must confide you will have blown them all
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