View Single Post
  #3  
Old 11-28-2006, 05:29 AM
Vodstok's Avatar
Vodstok Vodstok is offline
Fear scented candle
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: The edge of forever
Posts: 13,650
Any suggestions from anyone (I'm looking at Rod, in case he isnt completely tired of people asking him to comment on their stuff) for suggestions on how to make them flow better, maybe my punctuation makes it read akwardly, the characters need more depth, etc.

Ah hell, here's all o fmy stuff. Feedback needed, I am looking to push heavily at trying to get published:

i already posted 4 of them, but here is the whole shebang:
Justice
the Safe
Bearwood
Father Dillon's Funeral
Abuse
Absolution
The Eating Tree

Now, i dont want anyone to think that i am not addressing previous suggestions. In Absolution, there will be more torture. This was requested, and i admit, it is a bit light considering the circumstances.

Rod had suggested an identity of somesort for the narrartor in The Eating Tree. i am still mulling this one over. I like the fairy tale feel of it, but i may do a rewrite with an assigned POV and then people can let me know which flows better.

I loved Haunted's suggestions for Bearwood, and I think they will help clear up some underlying issues i always had with it.


LEt me know what you think, though. This isnt just another simple pimping on my part (its a complex pimping :D). But i really would like some useful feedback.
__________________
Some misguided people decided I was funny enough to pay. See if they're right:
http://www.cracked.com/members/Vodstok/
(I tweet pretty hardcore, too)
Reply With Quote