Quote:
Originally Posted by urgeok
i just said in another thread a short while ago - that the thought of dying never bothered me until i had my kid .. so now that bothers me enough to make me a much more careful person.
i'm afraid of screwing up... i never liked my parents - i'd be devastated if my kid ever felt that way about me.
i'm afraid of making a bad call or decision that will have a negative impact later on in his life.
i'm afraid of the possibility that i may have already done that without knowing
i'm afraid that he'll ever get hurt. mentally or physically
i'm afraid that he'll grow up to be a bad person (it's in the back of your mind - stirred into conciousness whenever you see another bad kid)
mostly i fear not being around to help him and watch him grow up..
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Yes, exactly. I was emotionally abused by my step grandfather from the ages of 7-14ish. I won't get into that, but it has made me the person I am today and not all for the better. I have all of those wonderful self esteem issues, and I think I’m completely hideous. All thanks to that jackass. My family is quite a dysfunctional one, and my entire life I said that I was going to raise a child the right way, in my eyes. I wanted to be married first and have a man who would stay in the family (I didn't have that). I also wanted to do everything I could to make sure my child knew how important she is, special, beautiful, smart, extraordinary. I guess I want for my Lily what all good parents do. But I am rather afraid of screwing up. I can't study for this; I have to use my best judgment, but what if I don't have the best judgment? I suppose wanting to do my best is a start.
My sympathies Miss Stubborn:(