Thread: The FlameSmith
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Old 09-26-2006, 03:20 PM
Roderick Usher's Avatar
Roderick Usher Roderick Usher is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2006
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personally, I'm a little tired of the masked hero thing. I still read comic, but it's sooooo hard to be better than Batman or Supes or Spidey - it just seems like an setting yourself up for comparison.

Now, if you flesh it out into a novel and really dig into the inner workings of the masked vigilante psychosis, then there might be room for it.

Stylistically, there is improvement in the sentence structure and crystallization of thoughts, but the pacing needs work - it jumps from the wife's death to the suit rather quickly.

I would very much like to see this story fleshed out. And I'd like to see the hero not be so good at his job right off the bat. I get that it is an act of passion, but is he a murderer? Are you going to go that way? Make him a hunted man?

Keep it up, brother.
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