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Good work Return. I'm glad to see you working hard on your craft.
I do have a few very general notes about your story telling.
You've obviously made the stylistic choice to leave gaps of logic (for dramatic and horrific effect) and a high level of ambiguity in your stroytelling - not a terrible thing. But I get he sense that you haven't quite figured out how and why the events in your stories occured.
Don't get me wrong, I love ambiguity, but it is paramount for you to know every answer to every queation that a reader may have. I'm NOT saying you should answer the readers' queations, I'm saying you should have all of the logic points solid in your head. THEN you can decide what to leave in and what to eliminate for dramatic effect.
You are off to a very good start, but always be mindful of structure and craft while shaping your work.
One more note. The stories all seemed too short by about half. The inclusion of a bit more narrative and a bit more plot development could elevate these shorts from "a good read" to "gripping."
Just my two cents.
Have you read Stephen King's "On Writing"? It's the best dissection of the craft I've encountered.
Keep at it - a writer writes:D
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"Little, vicious minds abound with anger and revenge, and are incapable of feeling the pleasure of forgiving their enemies."
Earl of Chesterfield
"A man that studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green, which otherwise would heal and do well."
Francis Bacon
Last edited by Roderick Usher; 09-20-2006 at 12:43 PM.
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