[XtRaVa]

Quite a long joke, read if you are very bored :P

A man walks into a bar, accompanied by a talking ostritch and cat.

The barman looking slightly puzzled asks what he wants, he orders a beer, the ostritch asks for the same and the cat says yeah I'll have a beer too but I'm not fucking paying!

The confused barman says to the man, err okay sir that will be £7.80. The man puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out a load of change, exactly 7 pounds and 80 pence.

After their beers the barman asks if they want something else, the man says yes I'll have a whiskey and coke, the ostritch asks for the same, and the cat says yeah I spose I'll have the same then, but I'm not fucking paying!

The barman asks for the £9.45 the man owes for the drinks, the man puts his hand in his pocket, pulls out a load of change and once again he's pulled out 9 pounds and 45 pence.

This goes on a few more times, then the barman decides to ask the man about it. He says: "Look its already quite strange how you have a talking ostritch and cat, but how come you always pull out the exact amount of change you need for the drinks, whats going on?"

The man explains how he met a genie, that gave him 2 wishes. He explained that his first wish, was for whenever he needed to pay for something, he would simply reach into his pocket and he would have the exact amount he needed.

"Thats brilliant!" The barman said. "Thats even better than asking for a million pounds, because you'll never run out of money, you'll always have what you need! Wow thats excellent, what was your second wish?"

The man went on to say "well I wasnt as clever there, I asked for a tall bird with long legs and a tight pussy"

Thats an extremely old joke from england, goes on a bit but hope you liked the punch line :P