Quote:
Originally posted by Zero
hmm - IA - the phrase "water, water everywhere but not a drop to drink" comes to mind as I think of you surrounded by college girls. And let's be absolutely clear, when women stare at you and shake their heads, avert their eyes and shudder slightly, or just say "ewww" in your presence - they are NOT interested in anything except your absence.
So, as you get off of the short yellow bus, take off your head-gear and adjust your retainer, I'd like to recommend a few classes that might help you in your later life. First, consider a course in "witty banter" or even "humorous insults" because - to be perfectly honest - I'd need a magnifying glass to find the 'funny' in your last post (ok, in fairness, there was plenty of "funny-sad" but very little "funny- ha ha"). Second, you might consider a course in "when to know that your ass has been thoroughly kicked" because . . . well, let's just say you could use that insight right about now. Third, "personal hygiene," because well, let's just be honest, you could use a good disinfecting.
As for Larry the Cable Guy, well he's not exactly my cup of tea. Of course I obviously didn't learn the art of trading barbs in the same place you did (which apparently was either a third-grade playground or the parking lot of a Steak 'n Shake). Seriously, is your next 'witty' response going to be "Uhn Uhn" or "I know you are but what am I?" Or, perhaps some more stinging remarks about the place you were actually born (EARTH TO IA: NO ONE CARES!). In fact, your NASCAR reference is appropriate - because I feel like I'm Dale Earnhart Jr racing a second grader on his Big Wheel at the moment and to be perfectly honest i'm getting bored lapping your pathetic ass.
So I think its probably time for you to get off the big-boy track, put your retainer back in your mouth and go cry to your hirsute mama. . . oh, and next time you want to engage in a battle of wits, I'd recommend you practice on my Kleenex first.
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Well, I think this all leads to an interesting question; just what IS funny? Let's backtrack...
Zero has called my mother an extremely hairy woman, yet he seems willing (even eager) to put his lips on her breasts as WELL as ejaculate on her back hair. I refrain from making a fetish joke because I don't think such a fetish exists yet.
He's also said I hang out at Denny's or something, I honestly didn't understand that part... but even third graders on a playground would have to stop and stare at a group of insults like those.
Now come the retard jokes. I've always considered those to be the last gasp, maybe right before calling me a "fag". These "rips" of your seem to be regressing to the very type of argument you said you were trying to avoid, that of the juvenile. So either you're trying to dumb your jokes down to meet my so called "playground" humor, or your tank is just running empty.
But I'm going to use my time right now to addresss a different issue... a serious one. All this time, the entire time we've known Zero, he's had a strange obsession with monkeys. Monkeys as avatars, monkey pictures, monkey jokes... they're not even placed with subtlety, they're just always there. This coming from the man who claimed I was dick-deep in bestiality, by the way (at least a horse would have a
big dick, why would you want a little monkey penis). So I was curious as to whether Zero's lack of a wife at his age is not so much due to the fact that he's a 30-something loser computer nerd, but that he just prefers monkey pussy? Perhaps he's spent all of his back-packing time going to different countries and fucking different types of monkeys; small monkeys, large monkeys, howlers and spiders and marmosets, great apes, orangutans and the like... I would make a joke about AIDS spreading because of Zero fucking monkeys then people, but I honestly don't think Zero's done the latter.
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And on THAT note, Zero and I close up our August Arguments... yes, that's the end of Zero VS ItsAlive. We'd like to thank everybody for sticking around and enjoying our childishness.
Take a bow, Zero... don't pull a muscle.:D