Quote:
Originally posted by ItsAlive75
Let me just start by saying that the best jokes have a thematic element that run throughout them, something that ties them all together. You can tell when you're going up against a brilliant guy because he uses that technique. And let me say to YOU Zero, making Denny's jokes throughout your ENTIRE barrage of insults... mwa! Perfection! Larry the Cable Guy would be proud of you...
And I will say again, YES if you talk to inanimate objects you ARE A CRAZY PERSON. No more joking, if you thought that talking to Kleenex was more enjoyable than talking to a person that deems you as crazy.
Never married? Really? Shit, I gave you too much credit...
And it's true, Iowa does suck... you're right about that. Man, a midwest college town full of 18-21year old girls. Did you know we were ranked #1 out of schools in terms of having girls in Playboy? I... I can't think of a Denny's joke for that, but I still like the sound of it. How many young attractive girls are you surrounded by every day of your life? And NO, your cum-caked magazine cutouts of hentai girls don't count as beautiful women (much like your wife doesn't, apparently).
So, now that this is done, QUICK! Think up another rousing joke-filled tyraid filled with more insults about hair on my mother! Oh, and throw in some insults about the town I live in but wasn't born in (thereby removing me from feeling "burned"). Hell, you could tie em' all together with some Steak N' Shake comments, or a couple NASCAR quips.
Git r' done, Zero!
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hmm - IA - the phrase "water, water everywhere but not a drop to drink" comes to mind as I think of you surrounded by college girls. And let's be absolutely clear, when women stare at you and shake their heads, avert their eyes and shudder slightly, or just say "ewww" in your presence - they are NOT interested in anything except your absence.
So, as you get off of the short yellow bus, take off your head-gear and adjust your retainer, I'd like to recommend a few classes that might help you in your later life. First, consider a course in "witty banter" or even "humorous insults" because - to be perfectly honest - I'd need a magnifying glass to find the 'funny' in your last post (ok, in fairness, there was plenty of "funny-sad" but very little "funny- ha ha"). Second, you might consider a course in "when to know that your ass has been thoroughly kicked" because . . . well, let's just say you could use that insight right about now. Third, "personal hygiene," because well, let's just be honest, you could use a good disinfecting.
As for Larry the Cable Guy, well he's not exactly my cup of tea. Of course I obviously didn't learn the art of trading barbs in the same place you did (which apparently was either a third-grade playground or the parking lot of a Steak 'n Shake). Seriously, is your next 'witty' response going to be "Uhn Uhn" or "I know you are but what am I?" Or, perhaps some more stinging remarks about the place you were actually born (EARTH TO IA: NO ONE CARES!). In fact, your NASCAR reference is appropriate - because I feel like I'm Dale Earnhart Jr racing a second grader on his Big Wheel at the moment and to be perfectly honest i'm getting bored lapping your pathetic ass.
So I think its probably time for you to get off the big-boy track, put your retainer back in your mouth and go cry to your hirsute mama. . . oh, and next time you want to engage in a battle of wits, I'd recommend you practice on my Kleenex first.