|
finshed ..
well paced, good building of anticipation and suspense ..
good narrative of how the smaller events unfolded so you could easily picture yourself going through the same ordeal..
have to take out the uneccessary commas though ..
and you anded on a weak line : "and spared himself the torment of dying badly"
it needs more punch..
died with his soul intact ... i dunno .. but something with more clout and finality than 'badly'
but still .. lots of good points ...
|