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CAR TROUBLE
Blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says,
"What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
SPEEDING TICKET
Police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he
could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get
your act together Just yesterday you take away my license and then today
you expect me to show it to you!"
RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another
blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she
shouts, "How can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the
river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
Gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body
hurt wherever she touched it. "Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then
she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and
screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she
touched made her scream. The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are
you? "Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde." "I thought so," the
doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the
wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights
and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and
yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian
said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first
on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on
the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their
heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the
Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're
going at night!"
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and
asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one
was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs".
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