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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a swimming pool?
Bob.
What do you call the same guy in the ocean?
Skip.
What do you call the same guy at your door?
Matt.
What do you call the same guy tacked up on your wall?
Art.
What's the hardest thing about eating vegetables?
The wheelchair.
What has a thousand teeth and eats wienies?
A zipper.
What do you get when you cross a penis with a potato?
A dicktater.
When you order a Bloody Mary, how can you tell if the waitress is angry at you?
She leaves the string in.
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I'll kill you and your dreams tonight
Begin new life
Bleed your death upon me
Let your bloodline feed my youth
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Ssshhh....did you hear that?
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