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Things Stressed Women Say At Work:
1. Okay, okay! I take it back. Unfuck you.
2. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
3. Well this day was a total waste of makeup.
4. Well aren't we a damn ray of sunshine!
5. Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after.
6. Do I look like a people person?
7. This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting.
8. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
9. Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
10. Why don't you practice random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self control?
11. Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
12. Do they ever shut up on your planet?
13. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
14. Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you haven't gone to sleep yet.
15. Back off! You're standing in my aura.
16. Don't worry, I forgot your name too.
17. I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.
18. Not all men are annoying - some are dead.
19. Wait....I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
20. Chaos, panic and disorder - my work here is done.
21. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
22. You look like shit. Is that the style now?
23. Earth is full. Go home.
24. Aw, did I step on your poor little itty bitty ego?
25. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
26. A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
27. You are depriving some village of an idiot.
28. If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport!
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