[The Flayed One]

I'll give you an honest critique.

First off, I belong to a writing forum or two for peer to peer critiques and such. Most people wouldn't even read what you wrote. If you want people to read your stuff, at least use capitalization & punctuation. It wouldn't kill you to run it through a spellchecker, either. Courtesy towards your reader by making what you wrote readable is a must.

Second, STE is right. This isn't a short story, it's more of a plot summary, and a poorly written one at that. Any horror fan here is going to roll there eyes at another 'it was me all along' crap fest in the first place. I mean hell, it could almost be a scene straight out of Haute Tension.

If you insist doing the split personality killer thing, try to think of an original way to do it. Try dealing with the why's and the maybe the personal struggle between the two personalities.

If you're serious about writing, these guidelines are going to help you a whole hell of a lot. Once you get some of them down, you can start getting serious critiques from others, including me.

-Flayed

Edit:
I just went back and read your introduction thread. Please note that I'm not trying to be a total jerk here. A story post is a lot different than a normal post. A lot of people have short attention spans reading long posts. Story posts are usually some of the longest, and if it's just a jumbled mess with no spellchecking/capitalization/puntuation etc., no one who fancies themself a writer is going to read it.

Whatever your grammar is like, you should be fine posting in any old thread as long as you're not a jerk/spamming. I just wanted to make sure you know that in the eyes of a lot of people, there is a big difference in the two kinds of posts.