Time for some blonde jokes
Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death
in a drive-in movie? They went to see "Closed for the
Winter."
Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children?
She heard that one out of every four children born in
the world was Chinese.
Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall?
There was a power outage, and twelve blondes were
stuck on the
escalators for over four hours.
A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught
in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with
dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop.
The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he
decided to have some fun. He told her just to go home
and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the
dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and
knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing
happened. So she blew a little harder, and still
nothing happened.
Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said,
"What are you
doing?" The first blonde told her how the repairman
had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order
to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Duh, like
hello! You need to roll up the windows first."
A blonde went to an eye doctor to have her eyes
checked for glasses.The doctor directed her to read
various letters with the left eye while covering the
right eye. The blonde was so mixed up on which eye was
which that the eye doctor, in disgust, took a paper
lunch bag with a hole to see through, covered up the
appropriate eye and asked her to read the letters. As
he did so, he noticed the blonde had tears streaming
down her face."Look," said the doctor, "there's no
need to get emotional about getting glasses."
"I know," agreed the blonde, "But I kind of had my
heart set on wire frames."
A blonde was shopping at a Target Store and came
across a silver
thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked
it up and brought it over to the clerk to ask what it
was. The clerk said, "That's a thermos . . . it keeps
some things hot and
some things cold."
"Wow, said the blonde, "that's amazing. I'm going to
buy it!" So she bought the thermos and took it to
work the next day.
Her boss saw it on her desk. "What do you have there?"
he asked.
"Why, that's a thermos . it keeps hot things hot and
cold things
cold," she replied. Her boss inquired, "What do you
have in it?"
The blond replied, "Two Popsicles, and some coffee".
A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets
full of golf
balls and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed
it) blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him
and his bulging pockets.
Finally, after many such glances from her, he said,
"It's golf balls." Nevertheless, the blonde continued
to look at him thoughtfully and finally, not being
able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked, "Does
it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"
A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife,
Susie, something nice for their first wedding
anniversary. So he decided to buy her a cell phone.
He showed her the phone and explained to her all of
its features.
Susie was excited to receive the gift and simply
adored her new phone.
The next day Susie went shopping. Her phone rang and,
to her
astonishment, it was her husband on the other end. "Hi
Susie," he
said, "how do you like your new phone?"
Susie replied, "I just love it! It's so small and
your voice is clear as a bell, but there's one thing I
don't understand though..."
"What's that, sweetie?" asked her husband.
"How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"
