[wood_elf_pansy]

My husband and I are separated.

This is my story(it started on sunday).

Well, he got sooper pissed because i smoked a cigarette even though the other day he drank rum(his excuse was it is low carb) and then he left me at his families house where his cousins baby's first bithday was taking place and his dad took Christopher(Adams son) home so I got high with his sisters and his aunt well, when i got home he asked if i smoked anything other than cigarettes and i said "i didn't say anything when you drank rum the other day" he said "that doesn't matter" and i said "fine it doesn't matter", and then he kept nagging me about if i did or not then i finaly told him and he got pissed off and started to walk away and then turned around and told me that i needed to find a place to go for the night and to not take the truck because i don't pay any money for insurance or gas even though last thurs i gave him sixty something dollars for gas and insurance. So, I packed up Alyssa and myself and we stayed the night at my friends house. well, then yesterday he told my sister that he was going to prove something to me by getting drunk all day. he was proving something about me getting high when he was spending time with his son but, i didn't do that until after he left me stranded at his uncles and then bob took chris home. so fuck that. Well, he blames all of our problems on working at Wal-Mart and my sister staying with us. He said that he is only less than half to blame. Well, we have had problems so much longer than Wal-Mart was included and my sister was never really there when we were. If anything she helped make things a little better for me. She helped with cleaning a bit and she helped me with Alyssa so that I could get things done. Well, to end that part of this entry, we are over until he can PROVE to me that he has stopped drinking. He will have to be sober for at least six months and been going to AA meetings. He can still see his daughter, with someone there. I totally understand why Maria treats Adam the way she does when it comes to Chris because I dont' want him alone with Alyssa either. Until he is clean and sober for some time.

Well, I am staying at my moms trailor. She hasn't stayed there in a long time. I'm thinking about seeing if she will sell it to me. That would be awesome. Then I wouldn't have to move anywhere. It would be so easy on me with Alyssa. I could just get a job from here and not have to worry about where I am going to move to. Hopefully she says yes. That would be so great.

Oh and I don't have a phone or internet at my moms house so, I'm kinda lonely there in the evenings.

Well, I'll try to write in here more often, when I'm babysitting.

Trishia