[mothermold]

Originally posted by mothermold
one liners:

I just shit into my pants. Can I get into yours?

Hi, I'm foreign. I've got Russian hands and Roman fingers.

They call me "coffee". I grind so fine.

Guy: I bet you're a C-cup. Girl: How'd you know that? Guy: My testicles are the same size.

I'm bigger and better than the Titanic..... only 200 woman went down on the Titanic

Did you just sit in a water puddle, or are you just happy to see me?

I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

Do you like magic? (Yes or No) I want to cast a spell on you with my magic meat wand.

Can you help me up? My dick is too big.

You remind me of Pokemon. I just wanna piccachu.

You're so hot, your ass is on fire.

You know, when you and I get old and our son/daughter comes up to me and says "Daddy, how did you meet mommy?" I'm gonna have to tell him/her how quiet you were, or how difficult you were being."

I'd suck a fart out of your ass and hold it like a bong hit.

Your graphics are so beautiful that they rival Doom 3.

Hey, there. I've got a question for you. What's the speed limit of sex? (I don't know) 68. Because at 69 YOU have to turn around

Was your father a 'meat burgler'? It looks like somebody took fine hams and shoved them down the back of your dress!

I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk.

I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade

Would you like to come over to my place later? You can bring some friends because my face seats five.

You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case.

i almost forgot one.

"Let's bypass all this bullshit and just get naked."