[ShankS]

Tenor: There's a song that I recall my mother sang to me,

Spriggs: (Sighs.)

Tenor: She sang it as she tucked me in when I was ninety-three.

Spriggs: I-diddle-di. [Spoken] Who was that bum?

Bluebottle and Spriggs: Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po,
Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po
(Bluebottle has dropped behind.)

Spriggs: [Spoken] Keep fired up. Keep up!

Bluebottle: [Spoken] Keep up lad.

Both: Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle I po, lad!

Both: Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle I po!

Bluebottle: Lad, po lad,

Spriggs: Yiddle i po,

Both: Ying tong, ying tong,

Spriggs: Yiddle,

Bluebottle: Ying tong, ying tong,

Both: Ying tong yiddle i po, ying tong, ying tong yiddle.

Bluebottle: [Spoken] Ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po (raspberry).

Spriggs: Oh!

Both: Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle I po,
Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po, yiddle I po!
(Frantic trumpeting followed by three huge drumbeats.)

Bluebottle: Yiiiing, ying tongy tongy, ying tong yiddle I po, ying tong yiddle i po.

Secombe: What a lovely melody divine!

Bluebottle: Yi-i-ing, ying tongy tongy,

Milligan: Get off the record, sir!

Bluebottle: Yiiiing, ying tong, ying tong yiddy, po,

Milligan: Get away!

Bluebottle: Dig-dig-diggun, dig-dig-digga, ying tong yiddle I po.

Seagoon: Hear that crazy rhythm, driving me insane,
strike your partner on the bonce (thump),

Eccles: Ooh! I felt no pain.

Seagoon: (Screeches.)

Seagoon, Bluebottle and Eccles: Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying.

Soprano: Take me back to Vienna... (melodic raspberries)

Bloodnok: Ohhh!

Eccles: Ooh!

Soprano: Take me back to Vienna, where the... (ceiling collapses)

Seagoon, Spriggs and Bluebottle: [Distant] ...tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po,
Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po.
(They all dash forward.)
Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong iddle I po,

Spriggs: Where's he going, lad?

Bluebottle: I don't know...

Seagoon, Spriggs and Bluebottle: Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po.

Seagoon: LOOK OUT!

Bluebottle> Ey!
(They all dash back into the distance.)

Seagoon, Spriggs and Bluebottle: [Hurriedly] Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong iddle I po,
Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po.
(They all dash forward again.)
Ying tong...
(Bomb falls and explodes.)

All: [Pinky-and-Perky style]
Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po,
Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po, yiddle i po,
Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po,
Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po, yiddle i po.
Yiiiing, tongy tongy tongy, yiddy diddy diddy da doh, ying diddy,
Ying tong diddle, yiddledy boo,
(Thigh-slapping followed by a raspberry)
Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle, ying tong yiddle i po,
Ying tong, ying tong, ying tong yiddle i po, yiddle i po, oh!