Is this the thread for turkey talk?
Because "I am a MAN"
Because I am a man, when I lock my keys in the car I
will fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia
has set in. Calling AAA is not an option. I will win.
Because I am a man, when the car is not running very
well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as
if I know what I am looking at. If another man shows
up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be
able to fix these things, but now with all these
computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to
start." We will then have a good scratch and break
wind!
Because I am a man, when I catch a cold, I need
someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I
lie in bed and moan. You are a woman. You withstand
childbirth and stuff...you never get as sick as I do
so for you a cold is no problem.
Because I am a man, I can be relied upon to purchase
basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I
cannot be expected to find exotic items like cumin" or
"tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing.
Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops
working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite
evidence that this will just cost me twice as much
once the repair person gets here and has to put it
back together.
Because I am a man, I must hold the television remote
control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has
been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for
it. Although, there was one time, I was able to
survive by holding a calculator. This applies only to
engineers mainly.
Because I am a man, there is no need to ask me about
what I am thinking. The true answer is always women,
cars, or sport. I have to make up something else when
you ask, so do not ask.
Because I am a man, I do not want to visit your
mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to
her when she calls, or think about her any more than I
have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is
okay;I do not need to see it. In addition, do not
forget to pick up something for my mother, too.
Because I am a man, you do not have to ask me if I
liked the movie.Chances are, if you are crying at the
end of it, I did not...and if you are feeling amorous
afterwards...then I will certainly at least remember
the name and recommend it to others.
Because I am a man, I think what you are wearing is
fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago
was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the
belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You
look fine. Can we just go now?
Because I am a man, and this is, after all, the year
2005, I will share equally in the housework. You just
do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning the
vacuuming, and the dishes, and I will do the
rest...like wandering around in the garden with the
hose wondering what to do.
Have a safe holiday peeps