[bloodrayne]

I wanted to respond to this earlier, but I wasn't sure how... I had to think about it first...Given the limited time that I have here now, I wanted to be sure that I had enough time to make the response that I wanted to...

First of all, Sam already made many of my points...It almost doesn't scare me so much anymore that he keeps doing that:p...I am often amazed by his intelligence and insight, especially for his age (I hate to keep bringing up the 'age' thing, Sam...But, a fact is a fact...You are an exceptional person...Most people don't attain the type of knowledge and independant thought that you exhibit, until much later in life...I certainly hope that you accomplish something with that amazing brain of yours, that someday leaves a permanent mark on this miserable world)...

Like Sam, I do NOT believe that Heather was 'trying to commit suicide'...First of all, if a person TRULY wants to die, they don't really have to 'try' very hard to accomplish that...Human life is actually quite fragile...People die by ACCIDENT every day...If you put even a LITTLE bit of intention behind it, death is quite easily achieved...

In my own personal assessment of these types of situations...I have come to believe that:

Attempted Suicide: People say it's for attention...People say it's a cry for help......I tend to agree, based on what I mentioned above...Maybe it's because they feel neglected, and they just want to see who really cares...Of course this is DEFINITELY the WRONG way to go about it...

Suicide: People say it's a selfish, cowardly act, and that the person who commits suicide doesn't think about anyone else........I believe that there are two types of thought behind the reasons for actually committing suicide:

1) I believe that many people DO think of others when they commit (or even attempt) suicide...As a matter of fact, I believe it's the main reason for the act...

Often they think to themselves "They'll be sorry"...They want to hurt the people (in the worst way they can imagine) who have hurt them so deeply...They use this as a form of punishment (unfortunately...It definitely has its drawbacks)....Often, the ONLY thing they are thinking of at the time that they do this, IS the person/people they are trying to retaliate against...They imagine what the reaction of the person will be when they either find the body (which, of course, is what the suicide committer hopes for the most), or when they find out that they are dead...They imagine many different scenarios, and they regret the fact that they won't be there to see it for themselves...The reason for the 'suicide note' is to make certain that the person who was supposed to be punished, knows that it was for them....Even if it just says their name and something simple like "I love you"...It still hits hard , as it's supposed to.....Often suicide (or attempted suicide) is a very vindictive thing to do, but they feel that they have no other recourse left, because they haven't been able to 'reach' the person any other way.

They DO, however fail to think of the people they will hurt UNintentionally...They lose sight of this, because all of their focus is on revenge/self-pity...and the person for whom it is intended

2) In my opinion, a REAL suicide is committed by a person who has simply become completely overwhelmed by life itself, and can see no other way out...They really do just want it all to end...They believe that they have failed at making things work the way they should, and that life will NEVER get any better...They are defeated, tired of trying and not accomplishing anything, and they feel that it's just pointless to continue on....They honestly don't believe that they will really hurt anyone, or even be missed by anyone, because they TRULY feel that their life has no purpose or meaning to ANYONE, as it doesn't to themselves.....These people will usually not leave a suicide note, unless it's just an explanation...Usually something like "I'm just too tired" or "I just can't do it anymore"......They do not 'threaten' to commit suicide...They do not 'discuss it' with anyone....They just DO it...Usually quite quickly, and always effectively...

Cutting: I have no personal experience with this, but I have known people who do......I do not believe that what Heather did was an actual act of 'cutting'...Although, I could certainly be wrong....This is the extent of my knowledge on this subject:

There are usually different reasons for cutting...The act may be the same, but the reason and intended outcome can vary...For example:

'Cutting' To Stop 'Feeling':

Some people 'cut' because they feel that they are so completely filled with emotions that they can't handle, and that these emotions are suffocating them, killing them...They have to find a way to 'release' these emotions, in order to keep their sanity, or even to survive.....The physical act of cutting open the body, gives them a sense of 'letting things out'...It's a very physical way, to deal with an emotional problem.....This act is actually beneficial to them in a few ways...It makes them feel that they are in control, because they are doing something to make themselves feel better...It allows them to visualize the emotions (most often, deep pain) actually leaving their bodies through the open wounds, which allows them to experience a form of relief....It's psychosomatic, but it works for them

'Cutting' To 'Feel'

Some people 'cut' because they have been so bombarded with emotional pain, they simply want to feel something, ANYTHING else....They hope that the physical pain will be greater than the emotional pain, and will distract them from their torment for a time........

OR they have become emotionless, due to the fact that they have been put through so much emotional trauma in their lives, they have simply detached themselves from all emotions, in order to protect themselves.....So, they 'cut' in order to be able to feel SOMETHING, and not just feel that they are completely 'numb'


I honestly have NEVER heard of anyone committing an act of 'cutting' (for whatever the person's reason, or desired effect may be) simply for ATTENTION...In fact, the intent behind it is often quite the opposite...Almost always committed by people who feel that no one else is capable of helping them (nor would they want to try to rely on anyone else FOR help), that it's something they have to deal with themselves, and therefore 'attention', even if received, would be quite pointless....It's an extremely personal thing, that they usually DO NOT want others to even know about....It becomes a form of 'personal emotional/psychological maintenance'



As I have given this much thought...I honestly believe that what Heather did was neither a form of 'attempted suicide' or an 'act of cutting'

What she did, felt more to me like an act of 'self destruction/self hatred'...Which is brought on by a completely different thought process (usually caused by frustration, hopelessness, helplessness, self-disgust, despair, anger, etcetera) and intent........It was not intended to punish anyone but herself, it was not intended to affect anyone but herself...It was a deeply personal thing, but NOT for 'relief' as in cutting...I feel that it was truly an attempt to try to 'destroy' herself, although not actually 'kill herself'.......

I see it in the way that a person might slash a painting or ruin a work of art by covering it in paint......Destroying it, but not causing it to cease to exist...

I believe that mentioning it here was NOT for sympathy or attention...But, seemed more like a "Damn, I got wasted last night, and now I have one HELL of a raging hangover...Man, I shouldn't have done that" kinda thing........Many people here have made posts like that, are they trying to get sympathy, or attention?...Nah, pretty much just telling how they feel, passing along information...

I REALLY wish that I could explain it better than that...I know what I'm trying to say, I just can't quite get it out the way I want to...*sigh*