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Sorry to hear things are kinda messy with your dad, Jay..
Have you attempted trying to have a "normal" conversation with him though? I mean...really try...no raising your voice, or yelling...just the two of you talking and agreeing to disagree a little.
I know it may be hard, but since he doesn't seem to want to approach YOU and do it...maybe you could just approach him and be as nice as possible...just calm, and tell him that you want to talk about a few things...tell him that you know he may not agree with all of your choices, but they're your choices/mistakes to make.
However, try and listen to his points too...he's a parent...and although he may not be going about it the right way, I'm sure he really does care...and I'm sure he really does just want the best for you...just let him know that he doesn't have to be so extreme about it...that you'd rather he just have a conversation with you...not an argument. Take a little blame, but don't be afraid to let him know what hurts you too.
Just my opinion, but hope it might help some :)
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