I Felt the same way for a long time. I felt that I was unlovable and I covered it up with a whole lot of booze and drugs. When I finally did end up having sex I wasn't happy with it I was dissappointed. I kept drink more and more. The thing is we all search for meaning and a reason to exist and most often we accept things that are only temporary and dont really satisfy us for any extended period of time. I cried out for help to God and told him how I felt hopeless and lost. Well my whole life has changed now and its all thanks to Jesus. If things are that bad ask Christ to help, invite him into your life. If its really that bad can it get any worse. If you want to talk more about it send me a pm. or you can reach me at
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Take care man and remember There is a reason for it all