[Nyder]

Well I have finally realised today that I'll never get laid. And if I lose my job I'll have to kill myself because I won't be able to get another one.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking - I should probably put myself out of my misery now to spare my future misery. But I'm too much of a wimp to kill myself.

I am the most pathetic male in existence! Yes, I am such a spectacular failure and a blight on all humanity...