[ChEEbA]

I know this is a pretty long thread...but hey, stick with me if you can, folks...
This is an issue I have thought about a lot in tha past, especially during my primary and high-school years.
However, after recently viewing the pilot episode of the short lived "freaks and geeks", it got me thinking about this again.

There's a retarded kid in the show, not a MAIN character or anything, but yeah, he's there...so, at one point a couple of guys are messin' around with him for a laugh, not anything TOO kinda cruel, just kinda laughing at his expense.
(Now I gotta say that if the person playing this role DOESN'T actually suffer a mental handicap, he's a brilliant actor)
One of the main characters of the show, a girl, approaches them to tell the guys to quit makin' fun of him, and tries to explain the whole "theyre laughing AT you" concept to the guy, and chooses to put it pretty bluntly "they're not your friends, theyre only laughing at you because you're retarded".

Immediately, the kid turns to his "friends", and is clearly embarrassed, and tries to convince them
"I'm not retarded you know, I'm just special"
Again and again he says it before getting upset and running off.
*STOP*
Now, this is what bothers me...well, I'm not sure if it BOTHERS me, but it makes me ponder nonetheless...Clearly this character was going into defense mode, by saying something he'd been told by parents/guardians, or perhaps school counsellors, or something of that nature.
When I saw this, I remembered back to my school and high-school days, where throughout my time, I had attended verious schools, and all together throughout my primary and high-school years, I would've attended at one point or another with maybe 3 retarded kids in some of the schools, and like 2 autistic kids.
Whenever someone slipped up and used the "insensetive" terminology, they'd either be reassured by a teacher, or stand up and state themselves that they were "special", or something akin to that anyhow. "different" was about the most appropriote term I ever heard used in this case.

Now, I was never one of the asshole kids that made fun of anyone with ANY kind of disability, but I have to admit, I always wondered what the fuck the deal was with this shit...I mean, sure, it could avert a potential tantrum, or upsetting the child in question, but that's only very short term kinda thing.
I mean, if the parents were straight with them from the get-go, this wouldn't be something that would upset them right? I mean, it's not as though you can't talk to these people, it's just a matter of a little extra perseverance, right? I used to tutor one of the retarded kids in basic reading and writing stuff in early highschool, so I'm aware that they're not by any means brainless or dense...things can take some explaining, but stuff gets through, in some cases easier than others.

So, my deal is...parents and teachers...etc that sugar-coat this information to their child...who are they doing it for, the kid, or themselves? And, in the long term, does this really benefit the individual, or simply avert minor crisis after crisis?
Personally, I consider it withholding vital information, but that's just me. I'm not a parent...I don't know how different my perspective would be.

So, I want perspectives from both parents, and non parents alike.

Would you sugar-coat it?
If so, OR of not, please state your reasons for and what you perceive to be the reasons AGAINST your decision.
Sorry to hit y'all with this...but it's ALWAYS played in the back of my mind...


- B